catch up mostly deployment

So its been a few months and wow this life as thrown some crap at us in this time. I feel I need to write a catch up blog mostly for myself so when I look back on this in the years to come I don't forget somethings.  I want to start with the worst day of my life its been over 3 months since my hubby kissed me and said see you later, but just thinking about it i tear up. The morning they were to leave I woke up and it was hard not to start crying right then. We get there and they have postponed them 48 hours. I was thankful for borrowed time. 2 days later i was here I got dressed and we got to the company at 0600. I was fine all laughs and jokes with my husband and our friends. Then at 0900 they formed up and 1sg had them put there ir flags on. This hit me all i could think is "its real this is really happening" then it was time to hang around more we went to the dfac and had breakfast. then at like 1000 they drew out their weapons. it was more hanging round more dreading more waiting. Then at about 1230 they loaded our guys on buses to take them to the gym for the see off. I was very blessed to have a few good friends come to the gym and support us. Once there we got a lil more time. I Kissed him one last time before he fell in and i set down in the bleachers already crying. As i sat there looking at this man i love I couldn't hardly breath I was in racking sobs and my friend and i were just holding each other. I still believe we were the only thing stooping the other from running out there and kissing them again. Then the national anthem was played and in that moment I was never prouder. Proud of my husband for the job he so willingly does, proud of our army and proud of the USA and all it stands for. I will never forget that moment. I remember watching him pick up his weapon and march out of the gym my heart split in two. I went out side and watch as the "white buses of doom" drove away taking my soldier off to war. the rest of that day was full of random bouts of crying Like when i went to go see our friends and i drove around the village they live in on post lost cuz id nvr driven there myself. When i finally got there i knocked on the door when P. opened it i just burst into tears saying "i couldnt find your house Hubby always drives what am i gonna do for a year I need him" all poor P. could do was put his arms around me give me a big hug and lead  me into the livingroom and sit me down next to his wife who just hugged me while i cried my eyes out. As the days went on i became numb I would cry less and less. I pushed myself to go out and enjoy the company of other women. I slipped into a new norm one where I never leave my phone in the next room, where i sleep with a laptop in my bed turned way up just incase. Where a 6 digit phone number makes my heartspeed up :) I have been swamped at times with the frg and now im gonna start volunteering at the uso. As well as babysitting for the wives who have kids so they can have a lil down time. This week we had an frg steering meeting and we started talking about things that need to get ready for homecoming. That was exciting we realize that soon we will be at the half way mark and there is alot to do and it will be hard to do over the holidays so we are startin now.  I have gotten very close to some of the other wives and they truly are a blessing. I moved into our new apartment and I'm enjoying it just wish he were here to as well. I think this post is to long so I'm gonna stop here. i promise to try harder to keep this updated not that anyone reads it. Oh today makes us 50% of the way to r&r