11 years later

Today 11 years after the worst terror attack on our nation I am reflecting on it.

Where I was.

I was 13 years old and in the 8th grade on September 11th 2001. I remember walking into homeroom from earth science class. I looked up and at first i thought we were watching a movie. I was shocked. Attacks on our country were something we would read about in our history book not something we would ever see.  Being in a military town we were scared what if our base was a target. We all wanted to go home but they wouldn't let us. Word came that base had been put on lock down. This just added more fear. As the daughter of a firefighter and a Jr firefighter I was even more heart broken as I realized how many of my brothers and sisters gave up their life so that other may live.

My visit to ground zero almost 2 years later.

Even as a 14 year old the emotion in that place was to strong. When my aunt and uncle took me to the city on my summer visit I knew I had to see this place. As i stood there looking though the fence at this hole and scare still fresh I was over come. I cried as i ran my fingers over the names of those we lost.  I was able to talk to a firefighter who was there who reminded me to smile and be proud to be an American.


How it effects me today.

11 years later it still effects my life. I am now the wife of a soldier who is currently deployed to Afghanistan. This attack is what moved us into a war. A war that is the reason I cry so often, Why I sleep alone with a pillow that smells like him. 11 years later I am still scared because of the events of that day. Now I fear what if. what if i never hear his voice again what if i never feel his touch or taste his kiss. I never thought that 11 years later this would touch me so personally.

As i end this I ask you all to take just a few moments not just today on the anniversary but everyday to say a short prayer for those who lost someone they love that day, for the men and women of our armed forces, for the families that are at home missing them, for our nation, for those who have paid the greatest of prices for their country, the gold star families and wounded warriors. These people are an amazing example of what the American spirit truly is.

longin

R&r is so close in about a week ill be in the arms of my love. But whats on my mind right now is a baby. I long to be a family so badly. My chest hurts i feel like this apartment is just 4 walls that holds all our stuff not a home.  maybe its cuz my soldier has yet to walk in that door. I want to feel a child grow inside me The pain of labor and the joy of birth